When we think about the moments that shape our lives, we tend to think about the big ones. The decision to move abroad. Choosing a university. Starting a career. Ending a relationship. Moving to another city. Saying yes to an opportunity that seems important enough to deserve a place in our memory. We imagine that our lives are built around these major turning points, the moments where we consciously choose one direction instead of another.
But the more I think about it, the more I wonder if that is really how life works. Maybe our lives are shaped much more by the small decisions we barely notice. Going to an event you almost decided to skip. Accepting an invitation from someone you barely know. Taking a different street on your way home. Applying for something without expecting anything from it. Starting a conversation with a stranger. Saying yes when your first instinct was to stay home. Most of these decisions seem insignificant when we make them. We don’t stop and think, This could change my life. We simply make them and continue with our day. And sometimes, that’s exactly where everything changes.
My own experience with Portugal is probably the best example I can think of. For years, I had imagined studying abroad. I had thought about different countries, different universities and different possibilities. Spain was one of the places I had been considering seriously. Portugal, however, was not really part of the plan. Then one day, I was casually suggested that I look into studying there. It wasn’t a dramatic conversation. There was no particular reason to believe that this random suggestion would become important. It was simply an idea: Why don’t you check for some opportunities in Portugal?
I checked. I applied. I got accepted. And in September 2023, I moved there. Three years later, I look back and realize that an enormous part of my life began with a sentence that probably lasted only a few seconds. Had I not checked Portugal that day, my life could look completely different now. Maybe I would have gone to Spain. Maybe somewhere else. Maybe I would have stayed in Morocco for a while longer. I don’t know.
And that’s the strange thing about small decisions: we can never see the alternative lives we didn’t choose. There are probably countless versions of ourselves living in the possibilities we abandoned without even realizing it. What if I had not attended that event? What if I had said no to that invitation? What if I had never spoken to that person? What if I had taken the other train? What if I had applied? What if I had not? We will never know.
I think this is partly why life can feel so unpredictable. We like to imagine that we are consciously designing our future, but in reality, we are constantly making tiny choices without knowing where they will lead. A decision can feel completely ordinary today and become meaningful years later. You might meet a friend because you decided to go somewhere you almost didn’t attend. You might discover a passion because someone invited you to try something once. You might even meet someone who becomes important to you because you happened to sit next to them.
None of these moments necessarily announces itself. There is no music in the background. No sign telling you that this is the moment everything changes. Life rarely works like a movie. Most turning points look completely ordinary while they are happening.
And perhaps this is also why I have become more willing to say yes to things. Not to everything, of course. We can’t accept every invitation, follow every opportunity or take every possible road. But sometimes I think we reject possibilities too quickly because we cannot immediately see their value. We ask ourselves, What will I get from this? Is it worth my time? Do I really need to go? What is the point? And sometimes the answer is genuinely no. But sometimes there is no way to know.
An invitation doesn’t need to lead to something extraordinary to be worth accepting. A random conversation doesn’t need to become a friendship. A trip doesn’t need to transform you. An event doesn’t need to produce a useful contact. Sometimes the value of doing something is simply that it gives life another possibility.
This doesn’t mean I believe everything happens for a reason. I don’t think every event has some hidden purpose waiting to be discovered. Some things are simply random. Some decisions lead nowhere. Some opportunities turn out to be disappointing. But randomness doesn’t make those moments meaningless. We give meaning to our experiences afterward.
We look back at a decision and connect it to everything that came after it. We draw a line between two points that, at the time, seemed completely unrelated. That is what happened to me with Portugal. At the time, it was simply an application. Today, it is three years of my life. It is friendships, places, languages, studies, challenges, trips, loneliness, independence, discoveries and countless ordinary days that I would never have experienced otherwise. And somewhere at the beginning of all of that was a small decision: check Portugal.
This makes me think about how many other small decisions are currently happening in our lives without us knowing what they might become. Maybe the person you just met will become an important friend. Maybe the hobby you started casually will stay with you for years. Maybe the place you visited for a weekend will become a future home. Maybe the opportunity you almost rejected will become the beginning of something completely unexpected. Or maybe nothing will happen. And that’s okay too.
Not every decision has to change your life. I think there is something beautiful about simply allowing life to unfold without demanding that every moment have a purpose. We can make our big plans. We should have ambitions, goals and directions. But we should also leave some space for the unexpected.
Because sometimes the most interesting chapters of our lives don’t begin with a carefully designed plan. They begin with a random invitation, a conversation, a change of route, a simple yes, or a casual suggestion from someone we love. A decision that seemed too small to matter until, years later, we look back and realize that it mattered more than we could ever have imagined.
Perhaps life isn’t made only of the big decisions we remember. Perhaps it is made of all the tiny ones we almost forget.